Halloween

I have to confess that if there were an equivalent character for Halloween, as Scrooge or more appropriately as I’m in American the Grinch represent for Christmas, I would endorse them. Why this annual event is considered a ‘holiday’ has always been slightly beyond my comprehension. This is probably due to an accumulation of factors such as never having ‘celebrated’ Halloween as a child; the stupid kid that I once threw an egg at my house and then one directly at me when I chased him; the fact that most elderly people I know will spend the evening with their lights off in the hope that no miscreant knocks their door; or just general apathy to this wholly commercial holiday loosely based on pseudo Christian and Celtic traditions.

However, in America Halloween is a significant event and therefore I feel behoved to comment.  It is also a distinctly different experience to the UK version that it makes for good observational and anecdotal material. There are many parallels to the UK such as excess candy, stupid costumes, inebriated students, the sudden appearance of faux spider webs, idiots that feel the need to cackle when they serve you coffee and of course the pumpkins. But as with most things in America, the event is bigger, louder and more enthusiastically pursued – it is Halloween on steroids.

It is hard not to over emphasise this, indications that Halloween was once again upon us began in very early October with signs, costumes and special offers appearing all over. It was similar to what happens towards the end of November with reference to Christmas, when you can feel both emotionally and physically, the commercial machine gearing itself up for the ‘holiday’. Then in the week leading up to Halloween virtually every coffee house, office, school, shopping mall and many homes suddenly resemble the set of the Addams family. Plus the annual pumpkin massacre is evident everywhere in a bright orange orgy of vegetable entrails.

This American version of Halloween is perhaps best illustrated by events held at America’s most influential house, the White one with the pillars in Washington…

On Saturday evening, the Obamas hosted over 2000 children for a Trick or Treat event on the front porch of the White House. The Leader of the Free World along with the First Lady gave out Presidential M&Ms, dried fruit and a sweet dough butter cookie made specially by the White House pastry chef in the shape of the official residence. From the news segments, the party appeared to be a huge success with even the Press Secretary dressing as Darth Vader and Michelle Obama as a leopard. Thankfully President Obama demonstrated more restraint, choosing to adopt a more subtle costume, namely that of a middle-aged father in a cardigan. The crowning event of the evening was the unveiling of a 1287lb pumpkin on the Front Lawn – for those seeking a metric qualification it was a 584kg pumpkin…

It is hard to imagine anything like this occurring in the UK. The kids would probably not be allowed into 10 Downing Street due to anti-terrorism legislation and anyhow Gordon Brown would scare them all away – the guy looks like a Halloween monster all year round. Despite it all I remain a Halloween sceptic and refuse to see why I should be held hostage for sweets by small kids in stupid costumes or attention seeking adults that really should know better. However, I am in full support of the traditional pumpkin genocide at Halloween as I have yet to be convinced of why the vegetable is considered edible – even the pumpkin beer I tried recently was nasty. Did we not learn as kids that bright colours indicate danger or a hazard?